Hotel Numquam
by Lil' Fizz
Summary: Mario, Peach and Luigi stay the night in a mysterious and creepy hotel called 'Hotel Numquam' only to realise, they're trapped! Can the three intrepid heros escape and save the imprisoned 'guests? Based off a song called 'Hotel California' by Eagles.
1. A stay at Hotel Numquam

**Author's note! Hello! This story is based off a song called 'Hotel California' by Eagles. I love the song so I made Fanfiction out of it. Enjoy!**

**Kaylana and Mr Numquam are owned by me, the rest are owned by Nintendo. Comment please, flames will be promptly ignored.**

"Where are we going?" Luigi asked his brother.

Mario sighed. "Somewhere far, far away from the Mushroom Kingdom, I imagine," he replied.

"Wait, so you _don't_ have any clue where we're going?" Luigi enquired. "Honestly! You're supposed to be in charge! Why did we ever trust you?"

"Leave him alone!" Peach snapped.

Bowser's crazy, kooky son Iggy had against all odds, shown his evil side and invented a mad machine that combined all of the koopalings' (and a few others') power and gave it all to Bowser. No-one had expected it. Everyone thought that Iggy was just a crazy little kid, only bad because his dad wanted him to be, but it turned out, he was the best actor the Mushroom Kingdom had ever seen. Bowser had invaded The Mushroom Kingdom and as much as it broke his heart, Mario had to admit that he couldn't stop him so he, Peach and Luigi had fled, leaving the destroyed kingdom behind them.

It was raining hard and the three were all very tired. Mario saw a shimmering light in the distance and ran towards it. There he saw a large building; the sign read 'Hotel Numquam'. He grinned in triumph.

"Peach! Luigi! Get over here!" he called.

"What is it Mario?" Peach asked.

"I've found us a place to stay," he replied.

In the doorway of the hotel stood a woman. She had curly black hair and green eyes and her name badge said that her name was Kaylana. She greeted Mario, Peach and Luigi with a smile.

"Welcome to Hotel Numquam," she said. "Please come inside."

However, no matter how happy Kaylana seemed, Luigi was the only one who saw past that. He saw the fear in her tired eyes. They were a little pink from crying and had purple bags. This made Luigi curious.

As she resumed her place behind the counter, the three followed her in, looking around in surprise. The place was huge, and old. There were no electric lights, only fire torches on the walls. The place was pretty dark and creepy too.

"Hey Luigi, this must remind you of home eh? Of that mansion of yours," Mario said.

Luigi laughed. "Yeah," he agreed.

Soon they had booked two rooms and once they got there, they were so tired; they collapsed onto their beds and fell asleep.

**Thanks for reading! Sorry it was so short, there will be more, I promise.**


	2. A shock in the night

**I just want you guys to know, it took me ages and ages to write that chant because I'm rubbish at rhyming, just wanted you to know.**

Mario couldn't sleep. He had a strange feeling of uncertainty, nervousness, but he couldn't work out why. Mario could hear Luigi snoring softly in the bed next to his and sighed, trying not to get jealous of the fact that he was sleeping soundly. Mario turned over onto his stomach but suddenly, he heard a noise. Mario sat up and strained his ears. There it was again! Some sort of singing? Mario looked at his watch, it was 11:30. _Who on earth would be singing this late at night? _Mario thought. He decided to go and investigate.

The corridor was eerily dark. The candles had been put out so it was almost pitch black. Mario insisted to himself that he wasn't scared, just a little wary. The singing was getting louder and louder. It was coming from room 23; Mario put his ear to the door and listened. It wasn't really singing, more like chanting.

_"__Save us save us save us all_

_From the clutches of Mr Numquam_

_Behind his plastered on smile_

_Holds a truly evil man_

_He has so much power_

_He can change your fate_

_And lock you up _

_So you can't escape_

_So save us quick_

_We cannot flee_

_He's trapped us here_

_Can't you see?_

_Who will stop, _

_His bad behaviour?_

_Someone please, _

_We need a saviour_

_Someone_

_Anyone…"_

The voices slowly died out.


	3. Comfronting Mr Numquam

**Wow, I haven't written this one for ages, well, I've started some other Fanfictions and they are really fun to write but I'm determined not to abandon this story so here you go! BTW, this chapter has a heck of a lot of references to the song in it so if there's something you think 'Why did she put that in there?' It's probably a reference.**

Mario was keen to get out of there to say the least. He was up at 6:00 am and woke Luigi.

"Huh- wha..?" Luigi asked. He rubbed his face sleepily and sat up.

"Why have you woken me up so early?" he complained to Mario.

Luigi was a very lazy person and enjoyed long lie-ins.

Mario peered out their door to make sure no-one was listening, then closed it and went over to sit on Luigi's bed.

"We have to get out of here Luigi," he said. "I don't feel safe."

"Why not?" Luigi asked.

Mario looked left and right before whispering: "I heard something last night. Chanting. Someone in room 23 was chanting about how they were trapped here and couldn't escape."

Luigi's eyes widened in surprise and fright.

"Seriously?" he asked.

Mario nodded. "We mustn't tell Peach though," he said. "She'll just worry."

So the two brothers agreed to keep their secret and after paying, the three of them were ready to go.

Mario tried to open the door to the exit, keen to get out only to realise, it was locked.

"That's strange," he said. "It's locked."

But before anyone could say anything else, suddenly, a shadowy figure appeared.

"You can't escape," she said. "You're trapped here forever now."

Mario, Peach and Luigi looked round and found the source of the voice: it was Kaylana.

Kaylana didn't sound scary or threatening, she didn't look it either. Her eyes were even redder than before and her face was visibly tear-stained.

"What do you mean trapped forever?" Mario asked.

"It's terrible," she said. "Mr Numquam, the owner of this hotel he's captured us all, and now he's captured you too. We're all prisoners here, we can't escape! I wish there was something we can do, but he's so powerful! He forces me to keep you here, I'm so sorry." She gave a little sob. Peach put her arm around her, she felt sorry for poor Kaylana.

Mario's face was set in a scowl. "Where is he?" he demanded. "That Mr Numquam. I've got a bone to pick with him!" He was furious, but a little part of his brain was thinking _I knew it._

Luigi meanwhile, was terrified. "Are you sure you want to do that, Mario?" he asked. "This Mr Numquam guy sounds like a scary piece of work!"

"It's not like I have a choice," Mario replied. "I can't just let him keep us all here as prisoners! Peach, you stay here with Kaylana, Luigi, you come with me. I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!"

Mario really wasn't in a knocking mood, so when they finally found Mr Numquam's office, he just stormed in with Luigi trailing behind.

The room was beautiful and enormous. The walls were painted burgundy and the carpet was scarlet. The ceiling was covered in hundreds of tiny mirrors. Mr Numquam was having a feast with several other people. He was at the head of a long table and they were all feasting on roast beef. They had glasses of pink champagne even though there was a strict no alcohol rule in the Hotel Numquam and they were all chatting incredibly loudly.

"You!" Mario shouted pointing an accusing finger in Mr Numquam's face. "Are you Mr Numquam?"

"I am," Mr Numquam replied. He had a British accent and his voice was _super_ posh. "Who are you?"

"Mario." Mario replied snappily. "Hero of The Mushroom Kingdom. And you, Mr Numquam have been sussed. Your game is up; we know what you're up to. And believe me; you're never going to keep us trapped here for long!"

Mr Numquam scowled, and then he smiled. He looked even more menacing when he smiled, like a cat who had just found a mouse.

"Well, well," he said. "It seems you have sussed me out, but the question is, what are you going to do about it? You can't stop me, I have too much power!"

Mario's scowl disappeared as the penny dropped. He realised, there was nothing he could do. He had quite literally walked into his trap.

"I'll tell you what we can do about it!" Luigi declared finding sudden courage in his need to help his twin.

Luigi strode up to Mr Numquam and tried to punch him. Mr Numquam disappeared into thin air!

Luigi rubbed his eyes in case they were playing tricks on him, but it was true.

"Where did he go?" Luigi asked.

Mario felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around only to see Mr Numquam standing behind him, arms crossed, grinning.

"What? Mr Numquam! How did… how did you…?" Mario said bewildered.

Mr Numquam beamed. "Like I said I'm far too powerful for you," he said. "Oh, and call me Vivian."

**This is starting to sound a lot like a Famous Five book so just warning you, the characters will be a bit OOC in this fanfic because I'm trying to make them a lot like the characters in an Enid Blyton book. Mario is George, Peach is Anne and Luigi is Lucy-Ann. But I promise, I won't write it it old fashioned language!**


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